TBT: Danielle Staub Was Working The Pole Long Before Melissa Gorga

5 Sep

It’s the first ever Friendly Dish Throwback Thursday post! While the housewives have provided me with a plethora of material to choose from, I’m going with my gut and writing about Danielle Staub’s stripping. How could I pick anyone or anything else? My world has literally changed from the moment I laid eyes on her and Kim G swinging their fifty-something, saggy asses around that pole “just like the old days!” Viewers newer to Real Housewives of New Jersey may not even know who Danielle Staub is, and there’s just something inherently wrong with that. So click through for the big reveal, or just to relive this incredible moment in housewives history. 

 

 

The scene starts with Danielle, Kim G, and their “busted up Sex & the City” looking crew tromping through the rain into the Squeeze Lounge. Danielle tells them, “There’s never a bad day to take your clothes off!” As they enter, they’re quickly greeted by Danny, Danielle’s ex-convict friend, and a few of his buddies, who I simply presume are also ex-cons. She says she’s been feeling uncomfortable in her body lately, which I’m surprised to hear considering she filmed a sex tape with herself around this time. “I think it’s really wonderful that striptease has become a form of exercise,” Danielle says. “It’s an empowering thing to do, and I’m all about empowering other woman. I was an exotic dancer myself in the 80s, but we were more burlesque dancers then.”

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After an employee shows them some of her tricks, Kim G volunteers to give it a go. She asks for some help, but I certainly didn’t think that she meant that she needed one of the employees to pick her up and literally put her on the pole. So that happens and once she’s on it, she’s just grasping to try and stay on. We watch her hands quickly glide down the pole as she falls. It’s kind of like watching a fat kid at recess trying to play on the monkey bars.

Now it’s Danielle’s turn to show off her moves and she immediately starts thrusting her crotch into the pole seductively. She bends over and puts her ass directly in Danny’s face, to his delight. If I remember correctly, Danny was also married at this time. Next she slides to the bottom of the pole and goes spread eagle before flipping forwards to do the splits. Pretty impressive for someone who only had experience in burlesque dancing.

Danny says, “She’s a fucking nut, I love it!” Danielle responds, “This is what worked for the father of my children. You saw my house, right?” Danny and his friends start throwing dollar bills on Danielle, who excitedly yells out, “Just like the old days! It’s raining money!” In her talking head she continues, saying “I would get money thrown at me like that all the time. But it was usually 20s, 50s and 100s.”

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Danielle made a reputation for herself as RHONJ’s resident former stripper and owned her past. Certainly she didn’t parade it around and make it public knowledge during season one, but the very next year, once it was revealed, she filmed this scene for the show. She knows she’s talented on a pole and didn’t mind showing off her moves for the cameras- moves that were pretty impressive for someone over fifty. If anything, this scene helped her image. People saw her as more genuine and authentic, even if they are laughing at it.

Teresa’s sister-in-law could learn a thing or two from Danielle. Perhaps owning her past and being honest with her audience could make her a lot more likable. It would be hard to change my mind about Melissa at this point, but if she could show just half the humility that Danielle had, she might just have a chance. Maybe then she wouldn’t have children laughing at her lies.

GIFs: RealityTVGifs

 

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